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Dedicated to Mingte parental guidance neededSHIT LIST!!!!!! THE GHOST SHIT The kind where u feel shit come out , see shit on the toilet paper, but theres no shit in the bowl THE CLEAN SHIT The kind where u feel the shit come out, see shit in the bowl but theres no shit on the toilet paper THE WET SHIT You wipe your ass fifty times and it still feels unwiped.so you end up putting toilet paper between your ass and your underwear so that you don't ruin them with those dreadful skid marks THE SECOND WAVE SHIT This shit happens when you've finished, your pants are up to your knees,and then you realize that you have to shit somemore THE BRAIN HEMORRHAGE THROUGH YOUR NOSE SHIT Also known as 'Pop a vein in your forehead shit'.You have to strain so much to get it out that you turn purple and practically have a stroke THE LINCOLN LOG SHIT The kind of shit that's so enormous you're afraid to flush it down without breaking it up into little pieces with the toilet brush THE NORORIUS DRINKER SHIT The kind of shit you have the morning after a long night of drinking.The most noticeable trait is the trade mark left at the bottom of the toilet bowl after you flush. THE 'GEE,I REALLY WISH I COULD SHIT' SHIT The kind where you want to shit but even after straining your guts out,all you can do is sit on the toilet,cramped and farting THE WET CHEEKS SHIT Also known as the 'Power Dump'.Thats the kind that comes out of your ass so fast that your butt cheeks gets splashed with all the toilet water. THE LIQUID SHIT That's the kind where yellowish-brown liquid shoots out of your butt,splashes all over the side of the toilet bowl and at the same time,chronically burns your tender poop-chute THE CROWD PLEASER This shit is so intriguing in size and/or appearance that you have to show it to someone before flushing THE RITUAL This shit occurs at the same time each day and is accomplished with the aid of a newspaper THE AFTERSHOCK SHIT This shit has an odour so powerful that anyone entering the vicinity within the next 7 hours is affected THE GROANER A shit so huge that it cannot exit without vocal assistance..... THE FLOATER Characterized by its floatibility , this shit has been known to resurface after many flushings THE RANGER A shit which refuses to let go.It is usually necessary to engage in rocking or bouncing motion, but quite often the only solution is to push it away with a small piece of toilet paper. THE PHANTOM SHIT This appears in the toilet mysteriously and no one will admit to putting it there. THE PEEK-A-BOO SHIT Now you see it, now you don't. This shit is playing games with you.Requires patience and muscle control. THE BOMBSHELL A shit that comes as a complete surprise at a time that is either inappropriate to shit(ie. during love making or a root canal or you are no where near shitting facilities. ENERGIZER vs DURACELL SHIT Also known as a 'Still going' shit THE POWER DUMP SHIT The kind that comes out so fast, you barely get your pants down when you are done THE LIQUID PLUMBER SHIT This kind of shit is so big that it plugs up the toilet and it overflows all over the floor(you should have followed the advise from the Lincoln Log Shit. THE SPINAL TAP SHIT The kind of shit that hurts so much coming out, you swear its got to becoming out sideways. THE 'I THINK IM GIVING BIRTH THROUGH MY ASSHOLE' SHIT Similiar to the Lincoln Log and the Spinal Tap shits.The shape and size of the turd resembles a tall boy beer can.vacuous air space remains in the rectum for some time afterwards. THE PORRIDGE SHIT The type that comes out like a toothpaste, and just keeps on coming. You have 2 choices: (a)flush and keep going or (b) risk it piling up to your butt while you sit there helpless. THE 'I THINK IM TURNING INTO A BUNNY' SHIT When you drop lots of cute, little round ones that look like marbles and make tiny splashing sound when they hit the water. THE 'WHAT THE HELL DIED IN HERE?' SHIT Also sometimes referred to as The Toxic Dump. of course you don't warn anyone of the poisonous bathroom odour. Instead, you stand innocently near the door and enjoy the show as they run out gagging and gasping for air. THE 'I JUST KNOW THERE'S A TURD STILL DANGLING THERE' SHIT Where you just sit there patiently and wait for the last cling-on to drop off because if you wipe now,its going to smear all over the place. |
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